I have always been an emotional person, as a child I would cry watching Little house, something about other peoples happiness always made me cry. Somethings never change, Im still that emotional person I was in my youth. I cry at strangers weddings, news stories, I even cry watching Idol. Why? I dont know, I always have and I guess I always will.
The last 2 weeks have been very emotional for me, I dont care for March very much, march 14th is a diagnoses anniversary for Skylar and March 28th is when our life really got flipped upside down, Sky caught the flu and we spent 3 months in the hospital, Sky came home physically changed, and I did too. So for me, Im more then Happy to see April fools day roll in!
The last 2 weeks have also been so hard, I look at my beautiful, happy little boy and I wonder what he would be like if he didnt have any limitations, I can see it in his eyes and since his emotion, his life his ora. Sky is special, not just because he has an illness, not because he has a trach, but deep down he is special. there is a light that shines in his smile and echos through his voice. Do I feel sorry for my baby boy? No, he is happy and full of love and life, do i wish him whole, yes.... Someday they will find a cure, and I can only hope and pray that the love of my life will still be at my side when it happens, so that we can be whole.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
When to draw the line
Do you ever get a thought that poses dought, something that just sticks in your head no mater
what you do to try to forget about it... I often wonder if I do all i can for my Skylar, I wonder can i do more. But at some point I have to remember he is a child who deserves to play, get dirty and just be a kid. I think I should stretch him more, but he hates it when we do it now. I think I need to make him wear his knee splints more and his DAFO's but again he hates all of them. Now I do make him wear all of these things, and we do stretch and do joint compressions and range of motion. I guess Im second guessing myself right now because he does have an elbow contracture, and I feel its all my fault for not making him do more, instead of playing or painting, we should of been doing more to stop that. It isnt stopping him from doing anything. So i guess I need to find the balance I thought I once had, I need to make him do more, even if it means an hour less of play a day. It just stinks, I want him to be as much of a kid as he can. But at the same time he needs to keep heading in the correct direction.
what you do to try to forget about it... I often wonder if I do all i can for my Skylar, I wonder can i do more. But at some point I have to remember he is a child who deserves to play, get dirty and just be a kid. I think I should stretch him more, but he hates it when we do it now. I think I need to make him wear his knee splints more and his DAFO's but again he hates all of them. Now I do make him wear all of these things, and we do stretch and do joint compressions and range of motion. I guess Im second guessing myself right now because he does have an elbow contracture, and I feel its all my fault for not making him do more, instead of playing or painting, we should of been doing more to stop that. It isnt stopping him from doing anything. So i guess I need to find the balance I thought I once had, I need to make him do more, even if it means an hour less of play a day. It just stinks, I want him to be as much of a kid as he can. But at the same time he needs to keep heading in the correct direction.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Left Overs
its a dumb one, as a kid i hated left overs. but now I understand why my mom or dad would make us eat them. And I must say I actually LOVE left over night. Mix and match, its our own little smorgasbord. And believe it or not, my kids like left over night too. I was just in the fridge and saw our spread for the night, ribs, chicken, potatoes, pizza and Im sure there is more. I just hate the mystery container (I hate those) if its not fuzzy Im fine, if its fuzzy it gets tossed out container and all.
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Pet Pevs
I really hate when people ask the obvious question, I don't know why... but it drives me nuts to be asked something, that you know if that person were to look at what ever and think about what they were going to say, they would in fact answer there own question. I find dumb questions that could be answered by thinking to be stupid and a waste of time. Now don't get me wrong Ill answer a question if someone really doesn't know, but to ask before they have thought about it, to find its the simplest thing annoys me.
Monday, February 2, 2009
What is.....normal???
I think Im a normal mom, a normal wife, a normal person, but yet I hear how exceptional I am with my kids and how I care for Skylar. Caring for your children is normal to me, no matter what. I do not see my self as exceptional, just a loving mom, who would do anything for her kids. So please someone tell me what normal is?
Saturday, January 31, 2009
My Happy Place
Hearing Sky yell from the other room, Monis report card (almost 4.0 every time) petting my cats and hearing them purr. Drinking a cup of coffee in the morning while no one is awake. Painting and drawing with my kids. Singing songs and playing games, seeing Sky move or do anything on his own. These are a few of the things I cherish each and every day, be it be for 5 mins or 5 hours of my day, these are a few of the things that make me tick, and help me to enjoy the simplest things in life to the fullest. Ive never been one to take things for granted, and even as a child I loved the simpler things, the smaller things, like a smile or shell on the sand, a tire iron, ball or doll. I just love life, and the beauty that it brings.
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